In School, Did You Peek the Other’s Answers?
January 7, 2025How to shift from doing everything to doing what matters most
Three things are messing with our minds and it’s time to bring this to you—our community of professionals + communicators + exceptionally bright adults and see if you are thinking, feeling, or experiencing this too.
There is anxiety and restlessness brought about by too many events called “unprecedented”, plus the need to still stay productive beyond marching in place, plus the nagging inner voice that says you better find some deeper meaning for life before you pile up regrets.
It’s time to explore how stillness can exist alongside high stakes, how it transforms anxious waiting into engaged presence, and how it shifts us from ‘doing everything’ to ‘doing what matters most.’
Some suggest taking an extended retreat or stepping away from life’s demands to achieve inner calm, strategic rest, mental clarity, and focus. Most of us are not billionaires and we do not have the flexibility of extended retreats, nor do we have an income stream without any work or responsibility.
Stillness isn’t about stepping away from life; it’s about standing strong right where you are—especially when everything feels like it’s on the line—so you can find genuine clarity, purpose, and resilience.
My greatest assets for this moment of mental chaos are the books in my library, my public library card, my mental sharpness, my sense of humor, and one weekend to see what other writers and thinkers have done in similar situations.
I’ve read these books more than once in the past five years and this time I put them together, in a conversation circle with me, to boil down their key insights to ease my anxiety when it feels like every moment is critical.
Here’s what I got from my books and writing this for you. Maybe you’ll get even more.
Stillness is the Key (October 2019), by Ryan Holiday. Written in a time of “swamped” and before the unprecedented time of the pandemic and imposed silence and isolation of personal retreats of 2020. While I see reports that people have more “time on their hands” I don’t accept that as truth. We probably have the same 24 hours everyone else has. Same sunrise. Same sunset. We have entirely different options and opportunities with what we choose to do next.
In a world of constant stimulation, deliberate quiet time helps you clarify what matters most.
I’m most interested in the latest book by Pico Iyer, Aflame (January 2025). It’s about the liberation of retreat and the beauty of silence. It offers counsel about the power of silence and what it can teach us about how to live, how to love, and, ultimately, how to die.
Pico Iyer wrote an earlier work with a stillness theme. The Art of Stillness: Adventures in Going Nowhere (November 2014) about the power of meditation. He reflects that this is perhaps why many people—even those with no religious commitment—seem to be turning to spirituality, yoga, meditation, or seeking silent retreats. This thinker emphasized growing trends like observing an “Internet Sabbath”—turning off online connections from Friday night to Monday morning—highlighting how increasingly desperate many of us are to unplug and bring stillness into our lives.
Illusory: Master Your Thoughts, and Discover Mental Freedom (June 2020) by Alex Mathers suggests we sit with the thing longer. This is not about organizing your files, writing in your journal, or sitting with a cup of coffee instead of doing the work. Much of productivity is about harnessing stillness. Most cannot fathom the initial feelings of boredom that accompany the first stage of work. Instead of escaping to a video or a bag of Cheetos, you must learn to sit with the thing you have to do. Don’t give yourself any other alternatives. Spending time with the project in silence will lead to a breakthrough when you remain aware.
The Art of Learning: A Journey in the Pursuit of Excellence by Josh Waitkin (May 2008), a public figure since winning his first National Chess Championship at the age of nine, writes “The secret is that everything is always on the line. The more present we are at practice, the more present we will be in competition, in the boardroom, at the exam, at the operating table, and on the big stage. If we have any hope of attaining excellence, let alone of showing what we’ve got under pressure, we have to be prepared by a lifestyle of reinforcement. Presence must be like breathing.” Growth comes at the point of resistance. We learn by pushing ourselves and finding what lies at the outer reaches of our abilities.
Presence over pressure means that everything is always on the line,” which can fuel anxiety or sharpen focus. By committing fully to each moment—even if it’s just reading a page or starting a task—you replace mindless rush with intentional engagement.
Wout van Helvoirt writes the Mavericks Manifest and serves as a guide into the inner occult of the gifted maverick mind. He provokes, reveals, and transmutes, inviting curious minds to uncover hidden truths and embrace the silent revolution against mainstream illusions. He speaks of finding peace through inner alignment—even when you feel disconnected from those around you. This isn’t about retreating forever; it’s about knowing yourself and your path so you can stand strong, regardless of external chaos.
Where does the stillness fit with the industry of getting stuff done?
Here are some conversations and additional articles we might explore if you say any of this resonates with you:
- Stop trying to find your purpose and start living instead.
- Discover your true ambitions through conducting tiny personal experiments.
- Dare to make decisions true to your aspirations.
- Learn from life’s high-stakes moments. In each difficult situation where it feels like everything is on the line, find lessons that deepen self-awareness. Whether you succeed or fail, carve out stillness to process the experiences so you build emotional resilience and clarity.
- In a world where everything feels urgent, stillness is not weakness or inaction, but the powerful center from which true productivity and meaningful life experiences emerge.
Your Turn for Reflection and Comments
These questions require no deep research—just personal honesty and a moment’s thought. Please use the comments area or email directly to let me or everyone in the community know your answers to these questions.
- When was the last time you paused—truly paused—during your work or daily routine?
- Do you ever feel like you’re waiting for ‘real life’ to start, even while the clock is ticking?
- How would your day change if you viewed moments of waiting or boredom as part of life rather than an obstacle?
- What ‘busywork’ or distractions do you turn to instead of tackling the real task at hand?
- Is your ultimate goal a happy life, a meaningful life, or a mixture of both—and how might stillness help you clarify that?