We Barely Talk About Giftedness, Until It’s Our Professional Choice

When we share the stories of our lives and professional practices, our stories never start with the giftedness part. People save that for last or don’t emphasize it at all. Our stories in the community of Gifted Professionals and Communicators start with why and how we became passionate about the profession we chose. Sometimes the calling found us. Often the stories cover multiple professions and more than one college degree—perhaps multiple certifications instead of degrees.

Specific within the community we formed are exceptional communicators, writers, speakers, and visualizers; so, our stories are well-constructed and often engaging and exciting. Gifted or not is how you are born. Because 90% of gifted adults don’t know it until later in life—if ever, our stories don’t have much detail about the measurable traits.

Most of our life we have no reason to dwell on our gifted traits because it doesn’t seem to be helping or hurting us, either way. Instead, we obsess with our projects or aspirations for climate change and world peace.

The exception to this pattern is the adult who chooses a professional path that studies or treats people with atypical neurological development such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and twice-exceptional (2e) function, and gets into discussions about inclusion in various settings, like school, employment, and society as a whole.

Meet Julie F. Skolnick, M.A., J.D., who has thrown herself into a life of professional practice of writing, speaking, teaching, and collaborating on everything that intersects with the lives of 2e children and adults.

What does any of that have to do with gifted professionals and communicators?

This story is about Julie and how she came to realize, well into her adult life and then motherhood, what her traits and behaviors meant. Giftedness is not the same as 2e; however,  some 2e adults have become professionals with exceptional communication abilities.

With Understanding Comes Calm is the name Julie, chose for her new business in 2014. But first, look back 18 years before that when Julie completed her law degree at Cornell Law School in 1996. Before that, Julie earned her bachelor’s degree at Colgate University in 1990 and then her master’s degree from Boston College in 1993.

Milestones in 2023

This year—2023, marks two milestone events for With Understanding Comes Calm. Julie founded an online community called The Haystack a community for 2e adults.

The term 2e refers to twice exceptional. The term describes individuals who have exceptional abilities or strengths, such as being gifted, while also having learning differences, disabilities, or neurodivergent traits. It means they have both exceptional abilities and challenges in areas such as learning, social skills, or emotional regulation. 2e adults often have unique perspectives and experiences that can contribute to discussions and understanding about neurodiversity.

In October 2023 Julie released her book Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child. Her book promotion schedule actively seeks out all opportunities she and her staff can identify for an author, speaker, or panelist to get in front of an audience. Julie researches and shares on her website a resource list of professional meetings, conferences, and virtual events that touch on gifted and distractible in any way. If you wonder how big, wide, or deep the movement and interest in neurodiversity and brain science runs, Julie’s list is a good start and saves some searching time.

Julie’s consulting services and presentations focus on twice-exceptional traits and concerns among children, parents, teachers, therapists, and all who diagnose and serve 2e people.

How Do You Know You Are Gifted?

Julie used to think gifted just met “smart.” She originally thought she was gifted based on her school success and leadership in a childhood youth organization.

But like many, once Julie had children who were identified as 2e, she slowly began to realize gifted meant so much more. This led her to create her own” three-layer cake of gifted” in which the frosting – above, around, and between all the layers, represents that “smart, bright, ability” assumption of giftedness. The three layers represent asynchronous development, perfectionism, and intensities or what’s also called overexcitabilities.

Once she grasped this broader definition of giftedness, Julie was able to recognize her asynchrony in math and geography. Her husband says she can’t find the way out of a paper bag. If she thinks she is supposed to turn left, she intentionally turns right knowing my initial instinct is likely wrong.

Perfectionism kept Julie from competing in her law school’s moot court competition. Passion and compassion bleed out of her pores! She emphasizes she is emotionally overexcitable! This self-awareness allows Julie to understand her nuclear and extended family and to relate to clients

Gifted awareness

Q: Is this true for you? Because you are a deep thinker, highly intuitive, creative, analytical, and curious, you bring a particularly complex dimension to professional relationships.

Julie: On the one hand, that analytical and curious mind brings great creative problem-solving. Depending on the relationship between colleagues, this approach and worldview could be intimidating or refreshing. When there’s a fit, you find yourself becoming aligned and growing a friendship fast. That being said, I think many neurodiverse people become entrepreneurs or self-select into virtual positions. In my case, I have the best of both worlds; I am an entrepreneur and I work pretty much only with gifted and twice exceptional people. This is a blessing for the deep conversations and strong convictions we share, but in some cases, if we disagree or aren’t aligned, it’s sometimes difficult to pause, reflect, recalibrate, and shift perspectives.

 Professionalism focus

Q: Did you become a professional on purpose or did your career path open a door into the profession you identify with today? I, like many gifted people I know, have had many different careers.

Julie: My first job out of college was working for the Anti-Defamation League as a specialist on right-wing extremism. I then got my master’s in sociology and wrote about female experiences during the holocaust, then earned my law degree and worked for a firm and the National Labor Relations Board on labor and employment law issues.

I pressed a big pause button when I started having children and then slowly got back into working as a volunteer for Operation Embrace – helping victims of terror in Israel, then doing marketing and development for another small non-profit on road safety. While it sounds like a winding route with no relation, all of my positions led me to where I am today. But the biggest influencer in using my knowledge, skills, and empathy to start With Understanding Comes Calm came from raising my own three awesome 2e kids.

Communication  focus

Q:  Which of your communication skills do you seem to work on constantly, always learning, always evolving?

Julie: Perspective growing. I think this is the key to successful communication. Notice that I didn’t say perspective-taking. I intentionally used the word “growing” because to truly hear someone else’s perspective, one must leave their biases, foibles, and needs, on the shelf while trying to truly appreciate another person’s perspective. It’s not just “taking” someone’s perspective but wholistically considering where they are coming from. One has to consider the other person’s life experience, to consider their life approach without one’s own biases. Then it’s important to communicate your perspective to help the other person grow their perspective and to truly understand you. Doing this has to happen in a judgment-free way so the other person can hear your words.

 Words to Live and Laugh By

The power of quotes and rhetoric is part of the gifted person’s thinking.  Here are the quotes Julie often uses.

With Understanding Comes Calm. —Julie

Behavior is communication. —Julie

Find the hardest kid to love and love him the hardest. —Julie

Aim low boring, aim high soaring. —Richard Rosenbaum

The world now is the ante-room, the lobby to the World to Come. We only have so much time to affect the world now. —Pirkei Avot

Often, if not weekly, we feature professionals who initiate meaningful conversations with other gifted minds and storytellers–and who they serve. They connect regularly through this blog, our newsletter, and their emails to nurture and support the network enriching them. See if their words and actions work for you or engage with them directly by sending a comment and sharing your insights.

If you are curious about how sensitive, creative, intense, multipotential, professional, ethical, expressive, and clear you are about your intentions, wants, and needs, go here to check your GPC Score.