Kerrie Hawkins: The Architect of Connection in a Fractured World
March 8, 2025
A life so unique it could only belong to you
The hype of “this will change your life” seems bogus. Perhaps you can open a door in my mind, but I do not believe anyone or anything “changes a life.”
In a world obsessed with transformation, we’re bombarded with promises of life-changing breakthroughs. What if we’ve been thinking about transformation all wrong?
Every day, someone promises to change your life. Yet despite the endless stream of self-help books, coaching programs, and wellness retreats, true transformation remains elusive for many. Why? Because we’ve built our understanding of transformation on myths rather than reality.
What are the myths of transformation? When and why did we start to believe the myths? On the other hand, is there something about change in human forms and behaviors that we struggle to understand, so we call it magic?
This is a story of questions. Since launching this community of professionals, communicators, and gifted adults in 2022, I’ve noticed an increase in articles, books, conversations, websites, and podcasts using the word transformation. The word has become so ubiquitous that it’s lost much of its meaning.
When Did Humans Question Life and Change?
Since we could walk erect and measure the linear time of life, we noticed that everything in nature and the universe is transforming. Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher who lived around 500 BCE, said, “Change is the only constant in life.” Even after 2,500 years, this wisdom rings true. When is change exciting? Why do we fear change? The fear of change remains constant because humans like routines. It makes us feel in control of our lives.
Credit Wout Van Helvoirt
When Did We Notice that Transformation Appears as Myth or Magic?
Most changes are tiny and happen without much notice. When you look a a photo of yourself 10 years ago or 20 years ago, you see the cumulative impact of change that was going on the whole time. We tend to assign the concept of transformation to a crisis or big event, such as births, deaths, residence moves, graduations, relationships, and health shifts.
The shift towards “transformation” language showed up in the professions of coaching and change management in the late 2000s and accelerated through the 2010s. Three things pushed the conversation from change to transformation: 1) Marketing and the rise of social media, 2) The maturation of coaching and change management industries to the point they created associations and certification programs, and 3) The increasing awareness among humans that there was something more to change than incremental or temporary improvements.
Was the self-help movement, which started in 1859 and exploded in 1936 with Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” an early hint of transformation hype and confusion ahead? That contributed to the complexity, but the current conversations have more to do with recent research and practices in brain science.
Credit Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash
Who Are the Voices of Reason and Champions of Transformation?
This story features people who fit nicely with this tiny slice of heaven we call our community of professionals, who are skilled communicators and score high on traits of giftedness or extraordinary talent. Their work and recent publications take the complex and make it simple and actionable. Their work reveals the myths and shows us what opens the mind to the magic of transformation.
Laurie Marbas, MD, MBA
Dr. Marbas is double board-certified in family and lifestyle medicine. She began writing The Habit Healers Substack in 2025 and publishes almost daily. Her February 21 post went viral: 10 Powerful Habits of People Who Age Well, Why Aging is an Art—And How You Can Master It. That brings transformation talk to the immediate interest of everyone: Aging with some options.
Then Dr. Marbas gets intensely practical and blows away the biggest myth in This Isn’t Self-Help—It’s Brain Science (and It’s About to Change Your Life)
The truth is: The brain isn’t a machine. It’s a garden.
- Habits are the seeds.
- Your choices are the sun, water, and soil.
- And your environment? That’s the climate that either nourishes or depletes everything you’re trying to grow.
If your inner and outer world are filled with stress, clutter, poor sleep, overstimulation, and low movement, even the best intentions won’t take root. But when the brain is supported—when it gets the right signals, in the right rhythm—it starts to change itself. That’s not theory. That’s biology.
Then Dr. Marbas shows us the magic trick and exactly how to make it happen every time. The Secret Law of Success: It’s Not What You Think!
Every major transformation—whether in personal habits, social movements, or business success—is driven by three key forces:
1. The Right Influencers: Who Guides Your Shift?
2. The Stickiness Factor: Does It Grip Your Mind?
3. The Perfect Conditions: Timing and Environment Matter
One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming progress should be linear—that every step forward should bring visible results. But real change doesn’t work that way.
While Dr. Marbas approaches transformation through the lens of medical science and habit formation, other experts offer complementary perspectives that help complete our understanding.
Anne-Laure Le Cunff, Ph.D.
Her first book was released in March 2025 and it’s great! Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World is a transformative guide to rethinking our approach to goals, creativity, and life itself from a neuroscientist and entrepreneur, and the creator of the popular Ness Labs newsletter. We featured Anne-Laure in our community blog and we stay active in her online community. She is a neuroscientist who reveals that all you need is an experimental mindset to turn challenges into self-discovery and doubt into opportunity.
Her work aligns with Dr. Marbas, who also brings everything to the only possible answer for success or getting anything done: You can have all the knowledge in the world and only when there is action, such as a tiny personal experiment or habit stacking, will you ever get from the words in our head to living a life so unique it could only belong to you.
These frameworks share a common thread: transformation isn’t about dramatic overnight changes, but rather about understanding how our brains work and creating the right conditions for sustainable change.
What if we could understand that our brain would love to go along with this preference for the easy way out, but it takes mindfulness and thinking on your part to rewrite the scripts you load into your mind or allow into your head each day?
Martha Beck, Ph.D.
Dr. Beck created Wayfinder Coaching and holds three Harvard degrees in social science and has published nine non-fiction books, one novel, and more than 200 magazine articles. She is Oprah’s life coach and was a monthly contributor to O, the Oprah Magazine for 17 years.
Beck formulated an “integrity cleanse,” a process of practicing honesty in thoughts, words, and actions. She realized that people were not lying about big things — we are lying about the small, everyday things. “I didn’t tell lies about my taxes or anything in my personal life, even,” she says. “I was telling lies about how I felt.”
This aligns with the magic of the brain, discovered and tested with hundreds of clients and patients. It’s the extremely tiny, can’t fail movements that turn your inner truths and brain preferences into a map of many related actions and a long-term course for a healthy and meaningful life.
The truth is that success is about the habits we build and, more importantly, the mindset that sustains them.
Credit notorious v1ruS on Unsplash
What Is The New Conversation with Your Brain?
What was missing in the “this will change your life” pitches and hype was the brain science and proven practice with hundreds of humans to work on critical thinking, plus tiny actions that look like habits. Concepts about will power, motivation, productivity hacks, and self-help courses threw everyone off the trail for more than 50 years. What a colossal waste of money, time, and human life! I’m glad we’re beyond that now.
Back to the original thinking 2500 years ago, if you believe we are changing all of the time and you accept that an article, a book, a course, an in-person conversation is life changing, then where does it fit into the next ten things you were going to do anyway, today? The magic of the transformation is taking a human from stuck and struggling to thriving and free.
Knowledge. Information. Disinformation.
Our story comes full circle to the question What good is knowledge? Are we in an Information Age, or did we just step into the Disinformation Age?
You can consume knowledge or disinformation all day and it has no value. Until you step into acting on that knowledge or put into action one thing to start, then the next thing, then the next, it’s just stuff swirling around in your brain, and your life does not progress. If anything, lack of action usually ends up in two unhappy places — “stuck” or deterioration.
The real danger isn’t just in consuming disinformation—it’s in allowing any information, true or false, to remain theoretical rather than actionable.
Actively getting out of the house to talk with others or making the effort to vote, even if it’s for a dictator, is an action. The point here is that information or disinformation on its own is worthless, and only when you, the human, choose your next step or next word and act on it will anything begin to move. Forward, backward, or sideways—it’s movement and that’s the only thing you can measure.
Wout Van Helvoirt, Transformation Coach
The Mavericks Manifest is a Substack newsletter and community by Wout Van Helvoirt. His thinking and writing on transformation and brain science emphasize mastery over mystery.
Read the whole article to see yourself beyond these excerpts from Breaking Free from the Fear Machine, They do not control you. You control you.
Those who are able to shape the narrative can shape reality itself, not because they hold some divine authority, but because the masses are all too eager to accept the stories they are told.
And because the human mind craves certainty, it clings to whatever is most familiar, even if it is a cheap and outright lie.
When you open your eyes, when you recognize the illusion for what it is, you no longer react in the way that is expectable. You stop feeding the machine with your fear. You stop playing the part they have assigned to you. You begin to separate their version of reality from that of your own. And that is when the entire structure starts to tremble.
Credit Ankhesenamun on Unsplash
The Real Magic of Transformation
The myths of transformation promised instant change through willpower alone. The magic, as we now understand it, lies in something far more profound: the intersection of neuroscience, tiny habits, and intentional action. When we strip away the hype and focus on these fundamentals, we discover that transformation isn’t something that happens to us—it’s something we actively cultivate, one small choice at a time.
The life that could only belong to you? It’s not waiting to be discovered through some magical transformation. It’s being built, moment by moment, through the conscious decisions you make and the actions you take. That’s not myth—that’s science. And perhaps that’s the most magical truth of all.